I haven't felt this way in a long time. I'm not sure why I do either. I need to take life back into my own hands. I haven't been skiing in what feels like forever. All I've done is lay in bed, watch movies, and eat :( I keep fighting with myself whether I should get up and do something or just stay home and be sad.
When I first moved here I didn't know anyone I just went out and sat alone and talked to some strangers. Now that I have friends I feel as though I am relying on them as my motivation to do anything. I'm lonely and I hate it. I'm depressed because I'm lonely. But I don't want to get attached when I know I'm moving again in April.
I just got an invitation to go to 'silks' with a friend who is leaving in 20 minutes and I don't have the motivation. Also for some reason the fear of the unknown and being horrible deters me away from working out in groups. I'm also fat which is depressing. I really need to work out but I choose to sleep and eat instead.
Today is my last day of sitting at home all day doing nothing. Tomorrow I'm going to Cardio Kick Boxing with Whitby and we are going to start a new lifestyle. I'm very excited/anxious for this to happen. I'm determined to get in shape and I know it will help my mood a lot. Also going to start a new career path that I can take with me where ever I travel.
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