Monday, January 14, 2013
Changes
Worked 2 doubles in a row. Today is clean the apartment day and order my computer as well as get a passport. Big changes. Going back to hammock sleeping. Need more space in my tiny ass apartment. To expensive to live in Tahoe anymore. Key west bound in April. Living in my car and crashing on couches. Salmon skin role starts soon. Healthier life for me. Maybe quit smoking and drinking. Open mind to love. Crazy thoughts but I need change. New challenges on the horizon. Hate being broke and fat. Not skiing like I thought I would. Random expressive thoughts.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Daily
Got my ass kicked today on my double but I made decent money :) for some reason I thought it was Sunday and wore my patriots jersey. Tomorrow is actually Sunday and I will be wearing the same thing haha. Hope I get to watch some of the game! Drinking beer relaxing and contemplating a second job while I still reside in Tahoe.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Adventure
I went to dinner and drinks with a coworker. Whitby and I decided on a new life style for our self. Although it may take a few months to get everything in order I'm very excited and this will be a way for us to travel and make money :). Sorry for being so vague I will elaborate soon!
Depression?
I haven't felt this way in a long time. I'm not sure why I do either. I need to take life back into my own hands. I haven't been skiing in what feels like forever. All I've done is lay in bed, watch movies, and eat :( I keep fighting with myself whether I should get up and do something or just stay home and be sad.
When I first moved here I didn't know anyone I just went out and sat alone and talked to some strangers. Now that I have friends I feel as though I am relying on them as my motivation to do anything. I'm lonely and I hate it. I'm depressed because I'm lonely. But I don't want to get attached when I know I'm moving again in April.
I just got an invitation to go to 'silks' with a friend who is leaving in 20 minutes and I don't have the motivation. Also for some reason the fear of the unknown and being horrible deters me away from working out in groups. I'm also fat which is depressing. I really need to work out but I choose to sleep and eat instead.
Today is my last day of sitting at home all day doing nothing. Tomorrow I'm going to Cardio Kick Boxing with Whitby and we are going to start a new lifestyle. I'm very excited/anxious for this to happen. I'm determined to get in shape and I know it will help my mood a lot. Also going to start a new career path that I can take with me where ever I travel.
When I first moved here I didn't know anyone I just went out and sat alone and talked to some strangers. Now that I have friends I feel as though I am relying on them as my motivation to do anything. I'm lonely and I hate it. I'm depressed because I'm lonely. But I don't want to get attached when I know I'm moving again in April.
I just got an invitation to go to 'silks' with a friend who is leaving in 20 minutes and I don't have the motivation. Also for some reason the fear of the unknown and being horrible deters me away from working out in groups. I'm also fat which is depressing. I really need to work out but I choose to sleep and eat instead.
Today is my last day of sitting at home all day doing nothing. Tomorrow I'm going to Cardio Kick Boxing with Whitby and we are going to start a new lifestyle. I'm very excited/anxious for this to happen. I'm determined to get in shape and I know it will help my mood a lot. Also going to start a new career path that I can take with me where ever I travel.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Invitation
It's fun to see strangers reaction when you ask them to go on a random road trip with you. Of course this sounds outrageous but it's fun. And anyone light hearted enough with the time to just up and go on a whim seems like the perfect person to fit my lifestyle. Although my road trip ended up failing miserably, which is unfortunate.
I made a stop at Mott Canyon my favorite bar while living in South Lake Tahoe. I met a guy named Matt who I'm pretty sure I had met before from the same bar. He was far more intoxicated than I was being I was on my first beer. I asked him if he would like to join me on my quest to find a beach and sunshine. With no real plan other than to sleep in my car and see where the road takes me.
He was entertaining the idea while asking questions and probably coming to realize just how crazy all of this idea was. He kept asking people around him if he should join me. I was quite entertained by all if this. He was very nice and excited for a moment.
Something's that has gotten me wondering. When in your life have you been sitting at a bar and had a women walk up to you and ask if you would like to join her on an adventurous quest to the beach? I doubt many people have had this encounter in their lifetime. He works at some fancy business job where he had the capability to just up and leave for 3 days with no consequence. Which I do envy although I know an office job isn't for me.
He listed to me all of the things he would have to do before we departed and asked if he could bring his dog. Of course I told him he could bring his golden retriever and that the other things he listed were very easy to accomplish. He pondered for a while longer before deciding that he wouldn't be able to accompany me on my quest.
I usually travel alone, it's what I prefer most of the time. But this just seemed like it could work, traveling with people you know can be annoying because you either run out of things to talk about or you hone in on the same things about the person that drives you insane. I've been thinking more and more about traveling with a stranger and how quick and easy the 3 days would have gone by. I know he's not a creeper or anything because friends I know very well would easily vouch for him.
Maybe it's my love for adventure and realizing that you can have love and adventure. As just realizing this I realize that I do have a want and need for love that I have so put off for about 2 years. I was disappointed that he didn't decide to accompany me on my quest. I can't figure out why, I've always been so independent and recently I've felt really lonely. I absolutely hate feeling alone, it hasn't happened in quite a while.
Life happens, all day everyday and you are always presented with opportunities you can accept or decline. His decline hit harder to home, feeling more as rejection. It's not him so much as myself and sudden longing to not be lonely.
I made a stop at Mott Canyon my favorite bar while living in South Lake Tahoe. I met a guy named Matt who I'm pretty sure I had met before from the same bar. He was far more intoxicated than I was being I was on my first beer. I asked him if he would like to join me on my quest to find a beach and sunshine. With no real plan other than to sleep in my car and see where the road takes me.
He was entertaining the idea while asking questions and probably coming to realize just how crazy all of this idea was. He kept asking people around him if he should join me. I was quite entertained by all if this. He was very nice and excited for a moment.
Something's that has gotten me wondering. When in your life have you been sitting at a bar and had a women walk up to you and ask if you would like to join her on an adventurous quest to the beach? I doubt many people have had this encounter in their lifetime. He works at some fancy business job where he had the capability to just up and leave for 3 days with no consequence. Which I do envy although I know an office job isn't for me.
He listed to me all of the things he would have to do before we departed and asked if he could bring his dog. Of course I told him he could bring his golden retriever and that the other things he listed were very easy to accomplish. He pondered for a while longer before deciding that he wouldn't be able to accompany me on my quest.
I usually travel alone, it's what I prefer most of the time. But this just seemed like it could work, traveling with people you know can be annoying because you either run out of things to talk about or you hone in on the same things about the person that drives you insane. I've been thinking more and more about traveling with a stranger and how quick and easy the 3 days would have gone by. I know he's not a creeper or anything because friends I know very well would easily vouch for him.
Maybe it's my love for adventure and realizing that you can have love and adventure. As just realizing this I realize that I do have a want and need for love that I have so put off for about 2 years. I was disappointed that he didn't decide to accompany me on my quest. I can't figure out why, I've always been so independent and recently I've felt really lonely. I absolutely hate feeling alone, it hasn't happened in quite a while.
Life happens, all day everyday and you are always presented with opportunities you can accept or decline. His decline hit harder to home, feeling more as rejection. It's not him so much as myself and sudden longing to not be lonely.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Reading
It's insane the amount I have been reading lately. I just finished Waderlust: A love affair with 5 continents. Now I'm on to travel guide books. I know I'm going to begin my journey on American soil so I don't need to learn certain things quite yet but it's still keeping my mind reeling for when I do make my journeys abroad. I have a few new books coming to me via mail that I couldn't download to my iPhone. I haven't found any new information about my Alaskan summer job yet but it's on my to do list. I'm trying to save as much money as I can so I cans make these dreams a reality. I'm also going to buy a new laptop in the up coming month or so since I broke my old one 2 months ago. Being able to work on a computer and get paid is my goal. Having a computer that has Internet is vital to that. I'm going to start my search soon and haven't been out wasting money on drinking and socializing much lately. I've also decided to apply for ridiculous positions that I personally don't see myself acquiring. But I take rejection well and the worst that will happen is they say no or nothing at all. I failed at my bedtime already haha it's 10:10 so I'm going to lay here in the dark silence and try to shut my mind off.
On my route to happiness
Megan
On my route to happiness
Megan
BC
Today I finally got around to ordering a state certified birth certificate! I'm one step closer to getting my passport :) I slept in today and didn't go skiing because I was awake until well after 2 am and I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed at my 7:30 am alarm. I work from 4 til close tonight I'm hopeful it will be busy. Then I'm going to buy NyQuil and my goal is to be sleeping at 10 pm so I can go skiing tomorrow :) I'm off to check my mail I'm hoping the movies I ordered are there!
The Compound
I live in an extremely small studio apartment where I have views of the lake. But I have a tweaker neighbor, or that is what I refer to him as. He's nice and means no harm I think he is just lonely. He just got off house arrest in which if I were him I would be roaming the town all day or doing anything other than be home. Yet he remains at home all the time. Every time I go outside for a cigarette he bums one off me which I don't mind helping out I know he is broke. I just hate that I can't sit on my steps and enjoy one alone with out his constant banter. It's becoming very annoying, he also invites me over for dinner every time I see him in which I have declined every offer. Living alone is fantastic and I love it and I know I'm not in any sort of harm, just annoyance. Can't do anything about your neighbors I suppose!
New Beginings
I'm not going to pretend that I'm going to write everyday because I know myself and I know that sure wont hold true. Haha. As for all the poor grammar your about to read please try to ignore it. This is going to be my place of refuge with my insomnia and random ideas that come across my mind. Since my epic shipyard beer calendar year has come to an end, this may very well be just little tid bits of when I work and random things so as I can recall this place in time whenever I please. Which my end up being years down the road.
For Christmas my brother Adison bought me a book. Into The Wild. Which I read in two days (epic time for my reading skills/ interest of usual books) This recent discovery of reading about other people's travels has gotten the wheels turning in my head about my next adventure.
Although I have not resided in my little ski town of Truckee, CA very long I feel as though my time here is already rearing its end. I do love this town and have made many wonderful friends and I have a job that I enjoy with fantastic coworkers. Nothing can seem to hold me down in one place very long. I have a gypsy soul, wanderlust, a need for new and more... What of each of those things I'm not sure, also unaware as to what I'm truly searching for.
Alas my search is about to continue. Whitby has a younger brother who plans on working an Alaskan cruise ship this summer, I've made up my mind and as long as I can get all my paperwork in order I plan on that being my summer job. I don't know any details on it yet but my heart is set I'm going to make it happen.
Then there is April the month my epically awesome mommy was born and I will be returning to key west, FL to visit for it and or a short extended stay with a cross country road trip leading in each direction. It mostly depends on the summer job I plan to acquire.
For the first time in my adult life I'm living directly across the street from a gorgeous lake. My leaving would mean no playing in the lake all summer which also brings me to be torn. There are so many what ifs and decisions I need to make, as soon as I find out more details that it is leaving me lying in bed awake thinking about all my possibilities.
My goal is to wake up early tomorrow and go skiing at Northstar, I'm hoping I can pry myself out of bed after the lack of sleep. Then I need to make some phone calls and get some errands done before work with hopefully enough time for a nap! Here's to new beginings and try to document them better and recall past activities to keep in writing as a memory for if my memories ever fade I'm going to have some young whipper snapper re-read them to me and relive them again. Haha
For Christmas my brother Adison bought me a book. Into The Wild. Which I read in two days (epic time for my reading skills/ interest of usual books) This recent discovery of reading about other people's travels has gotten the wheels turning in my head about my next adventure.
Although I have not resided in my little ski town of Truckee, CA very long I feel as though my time here is already rearing its end. I do love this town and have made many wonderful friends and I have a job that I enjoy with fantastic coworkers. Nothing can seem to hold me down in one place very long. I have a gypsy soul, wanderlust, a need for new and more... What of each of those things I'm not sure, also unaware as to what I'm truly searching for.
Alas my search is about to continue. Whitby has a younger brother who plans on working an Alaskan cruise ship this summer, I've made up my mind and as long as I can get all my paperwork in order I plan on that being my summer job. I don't know any details on it yet but my heart is set I'm going to make it happen.
Then there is April the month my epically awesome mommy was born and I will be returning to key west, FL to visit for it and or a short extended stay with a cross country road trip leading in each direction. It mostly depends on the summer job I plan to acquire.
For the first time in my adult life I'm living directly across the street from a gorgeous lake. My leaving would mean no playing in the lake all summer which also brings me to be torn. There are so many what ifs and decisions I need to make, as soon as I find out more details that it is leaving me lying in bed awake thinking about all my possibilities.
My goal is to wake up early tomorrow and go skiing at Northstar, I'm hoping I can pry myself out of bed after the lack of sleep. Then I need to make some phone calls and get some errands done before work with hopefully enough time for a nap! Here's to new beginings and try to document them better and recall past activities to keep in writing as a memory for if my memories ever fade I'm going to have some young whipper snapper re-read them to me and relive them again. Haha
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